This book is a journal account of a woman in a very dysfunctional, abusive marriage. It takes place during the years 1981 through 1992. These years are chronicled in her journal. It is a true accounting of events from her perspective, and some of the names have been either omitted or changed. If reading about her situation helps even one person see their relationship for what it is, I have fulfilled my purpose. There will be times in the book you may ask, "why did she keep taking it, why didn''t she leave him?" Many of you know that is easier said than done. People, for reasons of their own, choose to stay with and make excuses for their abusers. She has been with her abuser since her early teens, and he has been the only man in her life, naturally, she wants to have a life with him. He was her sun moon and stars. She tries hard, she wants to make it work. Reading about what this woman lived through may help someone relate to their own situation and realize the abuse they are going through.