"A queer memoir that takes place at the messy intersection between gender and desire, challenging stereotypes and embracing the nuance of identity. When Valentijn must undergo a mastectomy because of a gene defect, he makes the decision not to have implants and adopts an in-between gender identity that feels more natural. He shaves his head and discards his wardrobe of women's clothes, even the perfect dress his mother was so fond of. But all of this causes friction: not only are Valentijn's doctors stumped, but friends, family, and lovers too. His trans ex helps him feel more comfortable in his new guise--not a girl, not a boy, but an antiboy--while his boyfriend draws away from the relationship. Encircled by grief and loss, Valentijn searches for the ultimate freedom to be allowed to be himself and tries to rebuild the relationships with those around him."--